Women in unhealthy unhappy relationships try so hard to make everything look perfect on the outside while they are dying inside. We pretend that nothing is wrong, everything in our life is running smoothly and of course, we try to keep everything under control and in order.
Letting our secrets out to the world publicly would be embarrassing to us and our family. We do not want the world to know what happens behind closed doors. Some of us hide the harsh words our partner use, their disturbing actions and irrational behavior towards both us and possibly our children. We claim we can “fix” the problem and that things will eventually change – someday. So we hold onto our secrets, we live in a world of denial and swear “No one will ever know the truth.”
We are afraid that no one would understand. We are scared others will “look down” on us. We are fearful of what might happen if our secrets were all of a sudden revealed to the world. So we stay lost in the daily chaos feeling angry, depressed, weak, exhausted and completely defeated.
I’ve been where you are now. I know what being in an unhealthy relationship is doing to you. It slowly destroys your self-confidence and your self-esteem. You begin questioning how you feel, confused over what you are going to say and frustrated at choices in front of you. You’ve pulled away from your friends and family hiding from them so they won’t see that something isn’t right. You lose contact with the outside world simply trying to hold onto every little bit you can while you struggle through each day.
Please know that there is help out there. There are support groups, message boards, life coaches, therapists and charities that can assist you on your journey. You don’t have to let your secrets destroy you any longer. You can break free from the pain of a bad relationship. There is a strong independent woman inside you yearning to let go of pain, the hurt and the past.
As always, I’d love to hear your comments!
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Hi, you found me through Twitter. I just made a post that mentions secrets on my blog, too! Secrets ARE toxic to your soul. It’s not that you have to go around blabbing and badmouthing your partner to feel good, but if you have access to a safe support group or anonymous help line, you can lessen your depression and anxiety. The best part of safe sharing is seeing a new angle on your own relationship and solving problems from a different level than they were created.
Thanks for posting Jessica! YES Secrets can really bring a person down causing depression, anxiety, hurt and anger. There are safe places for individuals to talk about it to release the negative toxic energy that is built up inside with individuals that understand and have been in their shoes so to speak. This enables them to not feel judged and get clarity on the relationship and situation seeing it from a fresh perspective. Once they do that, a whole new world seems to open up and they don’t feel so alone and defeated in life.
Blessings,
Crystal
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